The Burden of Being Human

As I started to read The Things They Carried, I was captivated by Tim O’Brien’s writing style. I like how he would reveal an event and then slowly but surely describe the details of it. For example, in the first chapter O’Brien talks about “Ted Lavender, who was…shot in the head” (2). He mentions Lavender’s death more as the chapter continues with comments like “Lavender…was shot and killed” or “until he was shot, Ted Lavender carried the starlight scope” (6, 9). This heightened my interest in the book because I wanted to know how and why Lavender died. The answer comes when the scene is set and then “Ted Lavender was shot in the head on his way back from peeing” (12). However, the story isn’t completely over because throughout the rest of the chapter Lieutenant Jimmy Cross’s feelings about Lavender’s death are shown. Similarly, later in the book, Kiowa’s death is mentioned and looked at from different perspectives, but the reader doesn’t know all of the details nor feelings until later on. I really enjoyed that set-up because it helped me know the characters better by knowing their different viewpoints on the same event.

There were many characters in this book, which could get confusing since there wasn’t a distinct main character. Of course this book was written by O’Brien so there are more stories about him and from his point of view, but there are plenty about other characters. I started keeping a character list and I tried to jot down some notes about each character, but I didn’t start until about one fourth of the way through and I didn’t write as much as I should have. I am still glad that I did make a list though because I think now I have the characters straight; although I don’t know much about Eddie Diamond. I’m not sure if that’s because I didn’t read close enough or if he wasn’t in the book very much. After I looked over my character list I discovered I had only written down Diamond’s name and after scanning the book rather quickly, I didn’t find much about him.

A character that was prevalent in the book and the one I like the best is Kiowa. First of all I like him because he is “a devout Baptist” and “carried an illustrated New Testament” with him (3). My Christian faith is important to me so I feel connected with Kiowa in that aspect. Another thing I like about Kiowa is how he describes Lavender’s death. He “said it was like watching a rock fall…just boom, then down” (6). I especially like how he describes it to Norman Bowker: “Like cement…boom, down….Zapped while zipping” (17). Kiowa isn’t afraid neither to tell what he sees and how he sees it nor to find irony in a grave situation, even if no one else wants to hear. I admire Kiowa for this because I have a hard time voicing my opinions sometimes. He also isn’t afraid to feel what he feels, even if he doesn’t like feeling that way. After Lavender died “[Kiowa] wished he could find some great sadness, or even anger, but the emotion wasn’t there and he couldn’t make it happen. Mostly he felt pleased to be alive” (18). Kiowa’s reaction mirrors the basic human instinct to care about one’s self first. I feel like I can relate to Kiowa because there are quite a few times when I think of myself before others or think about things I shouldn’t when I am aware of and feel bad about it, but like Kiowa, I can’t make any feeling “happen”.

The whole story of Kiowa’s death was the most interesting to me. I hated and loved it at the same times. I was upset when Kiowa’s death was first mentioned because I really liked Kiowa. Then I was absolutely disgusted by the way Kiowa died. The description of the “shit field,” especially how Norman Bowker could feel it “inside him, in his lungs” and “then he lay still and tasted the shit in his mouth…and listened to the rain and explosions and bubbling sounds” was so vivid that I wanted to cry and vomit at the same time (149). But I was in orchestra and I restrained myself. Still, this was about the worst possible situation I could ever think of. It grieved me that Norman Bowker killed himself later on as well.

Yet what I enjoyed about this story was how everyone cared deeply about Kiowa. Norman Bowker felt like it was his fault that Kiowa died since he was right there. Tim O’Brien blamed himself for Kiowa’s death since he turned on his flashlight “And as a result his friend Kiowa was dead” (170). Guilt rose up from everywhere, and each person had a different way to deal with the pain. Azar joked about Kiowa being “Wasted in the waste” (165). I have to admit that at first I was outraged at this disrespect for Kiowa, but then I realized that these comments reflected Kiowa’s comments about Ted Lavender’s death. By finding the irony in the situation, Azar was honoring Kiowa’s personality.

That’s what this book meant to me: honor. Not because these men went to war and fought for our country, which is honorable, but because they were human beings surviving in tough situations. One of my absolute favorite quotes in The Things They Carried was in the first chapter when O’Brien was describing the things the soldiers carried. “They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained, the instinct to run or freeze or hide, and in many respects this was the heaviest burden of all, for it could never be put down, it required perfect balance and posture” (21). Each character was united by this weary load, the charge of being an ordinary human in anything but ordinary circumstances.